Divorce is never easy. It’s a deeply emotional and often painful process but it doesn’t have to be hostile. Each year, Good Divorce Week reminds us that separation can be handled in a way that is fair, constructive, and allows everyone involved to move forward with dignity. A ‘good divorce’ is built on respect, open communication, and a willingness to find common ground.

Start with the right mindset

The way you approach your divorce can significantly influence the outcome. Try to look ahead and concentrate on what will work best now, instead of revisiting what went wrong before. If direct conversations feel too difficult, mediation or letting your solicitor handle the communication can help keep matters on track. Setting a respectful tone early on can prevent minor disagreements from escalating into major disputes later.

Think about the bigger picture

Divorce often brings feelings of grief, confusion, and loss, making it hard to see beyond the immediate pain. Acknowledging those emotions is essential, they are a natural and valid part of the process. At the same time, gently turning your focus toward the future can help you regain balance.

Ask yourself where you hope to be in six months or a year, and what arrangements will best support healing and stability for you and your family. Keeping that broader perspective allows you to make decisions that honour both your emotions and your long-term wellbeing.

Prioritise the children

For parents, the most important goal is to protect children from conflict. They need reassurance, stability, and the continued love of both parents. Try to agree on what you will tell them about the separation and how you will handle joint decisions in the future. Children cope far better when their parents communicate respectfully and present a united front.

Get early professional advice

Seeking legal advice early on can make a real difference. A good family lawyer will not heighten conflict but will instead help you understand your rights, explore your options, and guide you toward a fair and sustainable outcome.

Explore alternatives to court

Not every divorce needs to go through the courts. Mediation can offer a calmer, more cost-effective way to agree on finances or child arrangements. At Blaser Mills, we have two trained mediators who help couples work through difficult issues and reach practical, balanced agreements. Even if some matters ultimately require a court decision, mediation can reduce conflict, time, and expense.

Be open, honest and realistic

A fair settlement depends on transparency. Hiding assets or delaying disclosure only prolongs the process and increases costs. Focus instead on what each of you needs to move forward and begin the next chapter of your lives with fairness and integrity.

Look after yourself

Divorce can be emotionally exhausting. Make space for rest, connection, and self-care, whether through friends, family, or professional support. Taking care of your wellbeing helps you think clearly and make thoughtful decisions for yourself and those who depend on you.

A good divorce is about how you handle it

A ‘good divorce’ doesn’t mean it’s painless, or that you stop caring. It means you’ve chosen to navigate a difficult transition with maturity, empathy, and respect. With the right mindset, advice, and support, it’s possible to separate well and to move forward toward the next stage of life on steadier ground.

For further information or advice please get in touch Maryam Abbasi on 01628 962238 or email maryam.abbasi@blasermills.co.uk.

For many families, Christmas is a time of excitement and tradition. But for separated parents, it can also be emotional and sometimes difficult, especially when deciding where the children will spend the holidays. The best way to avoid conflict is to plan early, keep communication calm, and focus on what really matters which is making Christmas happy for the children.

Start the conversation early

The best way to prevent a last-minute argument is to talk about arrangements well before December. This gives everyone time to think things through and avoids rushed decisions when emotions are high. Many families choose to alternate Christmas each year or divide the time, such as one parent having Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and the other having Boxing Day. Every family is different. What matters most is finding an arrangement that feels right for the children and manageable for both parents.

Keep the focus on the children

Children notice when things feel tense, even during happy times. They do best when parents work together and make plans that let them enjoy Christmas with both families. It helps to think about where they will feel relaxed, secure and able to have fun. Even small compromises, like sharing a few hours on Christmas morning or arranging a video call, can make a big difference.

Use mediation if needed

If discussions become difficult, mediation can help. At Blaser Mills we have two trained mediators who can provide a neutral space to talk things through and reach an agreement that works for everyone. Mediation is often faster, less stressful and far cheaper than going to court. Solicitors can also help parents negotiate calmly and record what’s been agreed in writing, giving clarity for the future.

Avoid leaving it too late

If you do need a court order to settle arrangements, it’s important to act early. The family courts see a surge in applications leading up to Christmas, and deadlines for festive hearings are usually set in the autumn. Leaving things until December often means there’s no time for a decision before the holidays. Taking early advice can help you understand your options and reduce uncertainty.

Keep communication kind

When emotions are high, it’s easy to let frustration spill into messages or handovers. Keeping communication polite and focused on practical details helps avoid unnecessary tension. Using apps or written calendars can also make planning simpler and reduce misunderstandings.

Christmas doesn’t have to be a battleground. With early planning, open communication and a willingness to compromise, most parents can find arrangements that work.

At Blaser Mills, our Family Law team supports parents in finding calm, practical solutions to child arrangements. To speak to our team, get in touch with Sadie Glover on 01628 962239 or email sadie.glover@blasermills.co.uk.