The holiday season is a time of celebration and family gatherings. However, for separated or divorced parents, it can also be a period of stress and conflict, particularly when there is no clear plan for child arrangements over the festive break. Although there are many legal avenues to resolve such disputes, mediation is often the most preferred route by many.
Lucinda Holliday, Partner and Head of Family & Divorce at Blaser Mills Law, explains how mediation can help to relieve some stress this Christmas.
What is mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary process where a neutral third party, known as a mediator, helps the disputing parents to reach an agreement. In the context of family law, mediation can be used to resolve a wide range of issues, including child arrangements during the holidays. The mediator does not make decisions for the parties but facilitates communication and negotiation between them to help them reach a mutually acceptable solution.
The benefits
Mediation offers several advantages over litigation. It is generally quicker, less stressful, and less expensive than going to court. It also allows the parties to maintain control over the decision-making process, which can be particularly beneficial when dealing with sensitive issues such as child arrangements. Additionally, mediation encourages cooperation and communication, which can help to improve the long-term relationship between the parents, ultimately benefiting the children.
The process
The mediation process typically begins with an initial meeting, known as a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). During this meeting, the mediator will explain the process, assess whether mediation is suitable for your situation, and answer any questions you may have.
If both parties agree to proceed with mediation, the mediator will arrange a series of sessions where you and the other parent can discuss your issues. These sessions are confidential, and the mediator will ensure that both parties have an equal opportunity to express their views and concerns.
During the mediation sessions, the mediator will help you and the other parent to explore different options and negotiate an agreement. If an agreement is reached, the mediator will draft a Memorandum of Understanding, which outlines the terms of the agreement. This document is not legally binding, but it can be converted into a legally binding court order if necessary.
What can I do if I don’t have a plan?
If you and the other parent have not yet agreed on where the children will spend Christmas, mediation can be an effective way to resolve this issue. Below are some steps you can take:
- Contact a mediator: Lucinda Holliday can facilitate mediation at Blaser Mills Law, she also offers child inclusive mediation.
- Attend a MIAM: This meeting will help you understand what mediation involves and whether it’s the right approach for your situation.
- Prepare: Ahead of the sessions, think about what you want to achieve and any potential compromises you might be willing to make. It can also be helpful to seek legal advice so that you understand your rights and responsibilities.
- Participate: Try to stay open-minded, listen to the other parent’s perspective, and focus on the best interests of the children. Remember, the goal is not to ‘win’ but to reach a solution that works for everyone.
- Implement: If an agreement is reached, make sure you understand the terms and how they will be implemented. If necessary, you can ask the mediator to draft a court order to make the agreement legally binding.
In conclusion, while disputes about child arrangements during Christmas can be challenging, mediation offers a constructive and cooperative way to resolve these issues. By focusing on the best interests of the children and working towards a mutually acceptable solution, parents can ensure that the festive season is a time of joy and celebration for everyone.
To speak to Lucinda Holliday in regards to a mediation please contact her on (01494) 478603 or email ljmh@blasermills.co.uk.
