23 September 2025
Family separation can be difficult for everyone involved, especially children. In some families, children may become reluctant or refuse to see one of their parents. Sometimes this is based on their own experiences or feelings. In other cases, a parent may influence the child, consciously or unconsciously, by speaking negatively about the other parent or making them feel guilty for wanting a relationship with them. This is known as alienating behaviour.
The Family Justice Council (FJC) has recently published guidance to help courts and professionals respond to cases where alienation is alleged. Its focus is on ensuring that decisions are made carefully and with the child’s welfare at the centre.
What is alienating behaviour?
Alienating behaviour can take many forms. It may include criticising the other parent in front of the child, restricting or controlling contact, or pressuring the child to take sides. These actions can damage the child’s ability to have a healthy relationship with both parents.
It is important to remember, however, that not all situations where a child resists contact involve alienation. A child may have valid reasons for not wanting to see a parent, such as exposure to conflict, poor parenting, or even direct harm. The court’s role is to look behind the behaviour and understand the reasons.
How do the courts approach these cases?
The new FJC guidance stresses the need for careful assessment. Judges should avoid applying labels too quickly. Instead, they must look at the evidence, hear the child’s voice, and consider the wider context of the family.
Courts may look at:
- The child’s wishes and feelings, depending on their age and maturity.
- The history of the parents’ relationship and any past concerns.
- Evidence of abuse, neglect, or other safeguarding risks.
- Professional assessments from social workers or psychologists.
There is no fixed test for alienation. Each case is different, and the welfare of the child remains the guiding principle.
Balancing rights and responsibilities
Allegations of alienation can be distressing for both parents. A parent who feels excluded from their child’s life may feel frustrated and powerless. The parent accused of alienation may feel unfairly blamed. The FJC reminds us that the court’s task is not to punish parents but to protect the child and support safe, positive family relationships.
Solutions can include therapeutic support, parenting programmes, or carefully managed contact arrangements, depending on the needs of the child.
Advice for parents
If you are experiencing difficulties around contact, there are steps you can take:
- Keep children out of adult disputes wherever possible.
- Encourage your child to feel free to spend time with both parents.
- Seek advice early if you are worried about resistance or conflict.
- Keep clear records of arrangements and communications.
A sensitive and evolving area
Alienating behaviour is complex, and every case is unique. What matters most is that children are not caught in the middle of disputes and that their wellbeing comes first.
Our family team can advise you if you are concerned about contact, resistance, or allegations of alienation. We provide clear and practical guidance tailored to your circumstances. Please contact us if you would like to discuss your situation in confidence.
For further information or advice, please contact Naim Qureshi, Senior Associate in the family and divorce team on 01494 781356 or email naim.qureshi@blasermills.co.uk.